CLASSIFIEDS....Full Time Position-Life Changing Opportunity!

Its a little long, but this is so true! Thank you Daddy, Mum, Dad and Marm for taking the position! I wouldn't be who I am without your support and most of all your LOVE! I appreciate your dedication and faithfulness. Your reward is out of this world, you'll just have to ask the Big Man upstairs for the cash out, he has everything taken care of for me. ;)
I love you all with all my heart, you are awesome!....by the way can I borrow $20?

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

1. Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, Oftenchaotic environment.
2. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skillsand be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings andweekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping siteson rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life.

1. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
2. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to gofrom zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screamsfrom the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as smallgadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
5. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production ofmultiple homework projects.
6. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of allages and mental outlooks.
7. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassment the next.
8. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9. Must always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
10. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the endproduct.
11. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial workthroughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None.

1. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately.

1. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay us!

1. Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
2. A balloon payment is due when we turn 18, because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
3. When you die, you give us whatever is left.The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

1. While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.